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E. Kansas | I say it's time to actively be looking for another place. Some of the staff is always changing in all care homes, but what you've described sounds like changes in the administration, or ownership, or Director of Nursing, etc. They may have changed their focus of care to concentrate more on residents who don't need transfer assistance and have good mobility, need minimal attention and have few major health problems; almost like an assisted care living place. Your family should have been notified if indeed they made such changes. And as bad as it sounds, the place may actually now be managed/directed by some who couldn't really care less about the care level the residents are receiving. If a place doesn't want to change, it's not likely they will, or if they do, it won't be long before they're back to their same ways. Your f-i-l may need a care level above what the current care home consistently gives.
I'd much rather have a family member be at a place where they are content and that gives good care, that might be farther away from your location, than to have them at a closer place that doesn't give good care. No matter how good the place is, you still have to be there as much as possible to confirm the care level is meeting your satisfaction. And I totally understand the time that it takes to constantly be monitoring. Unfortunately, as you have experienced, care places can change, and not always for the good.
One thing I always told family and friends about looking after someone in a care home for 5 years is that if something you see there isn't right, you have just approved of it if you don't report it or say something. I didn't go there with the intention of trying to be the most popular family member of the management/staff, I went there to see how things were going and of course to spend time with my family member. Most of the staff seemed to be very compassionate and respectful, but some just aren't cut out to be care givers. The doctor of my family member told me at different times that they were getting better care since they had frequent visitors, than residents who have no one to come see them or rarely visit. That's awful, but unfortunately it's reality.
If you have issues to address with the care home, never wait until some scheduled meeting date to discuss how things are with your family member. I always used email, so that way any concerns could be conveyed at any time, and there was little chance of the issue being lost in their paperwork shuffle and the care home say they had no idea there was an item of concern. The administrator, Director of Nursing, and primary care nurse were all copied on the email, and it seemed to work as a good means for communication. Keep all the emails, and you have complete history of your communications. Many times a prior email was forwarded with updated details to report the same issue again, often within a week or two. Unfortunately you'll often plow the same ground over and over in getting some issues resolved.
I wish you and your family, as well as your f-i-l, the best in your decisions. My email is good if you should want to use it.
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When to change nursing homes
