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New London, Wisconsin | My wife and I were fondly recalling a guy who worked for me when I first started farming. He had just retired and sold his dairy, his joke was that his girls were all gone and married and he didn't want to milk all those cows himself. His girls laughed and didn't think it was a joke. I was about 22 years old, working for an equipment dealer during the day and trying to start a farm business the other 124 hours of the week. I never thought that much about it until today, but he probably made the difference between success or failure for me. He started helping me in 1979 or 1980 and stayed with me as I doubled acres a few years in a row. In 1982 when I went full time on a new farm in a new community an hour and a half away, he surprised me when he said he'd come along and help. He had a motor home and a tow hitch for his truck. He'd come down and do my tillage in the spring and run my combine in the fall. It was the help from heaven.
I've had a dozen or so people work for me over the years, but there has never been anyone that even came close to being a replacement for Bob. He was knowledgeable about somethings I wasn't, and that was a big help. I was better at the technical stuff, precision and spraying, and he was glad to stay out of that. Almost always we'd sound ideas off each other and be in agreement, occasionally he and I would disagree. I would hear him out, usually try the new way in some fashion and look for the results. After having to change and do something a new way I'd hear him brag to some other farmer what we were doing now and how much better it was. He, like most of us was reluctant to admit right away something else could be better. I was sometimes reluctant to admit the old way may be best.
I was right at my limit in being able to keep up with all I had taken on. I was up to my eyeballs in debt, the ag economy was starting to sink, interest rates were well into the teens, lenders who two years before couldn't shovel money at you fast enough were starting to trend the other way. Then I lost about 70 acres to flooding as my new farms ditches were not cleaned out and we had 3 separate 4 inch rains in two weeks. He knew how stressed out I was and somehow could not only laugh about a bad situation, but eventually have me laughing too. No one had crop insurance back then and no FSA program was there for me either. Somehow I got through that year.
Predictably enough Bob got offers to work for other farmers, closer to home and for more money. He told them no. When asked why, he's say when I go to work for Jim, he has everything ready to go, the tractor is fueled up and greased and his stuff just works, I don't have to fix it. That was true and a large part of why I was so deep in debt. My 4386 was only one year old and came with the farm, same was true of the axial flow combine. I had too much debt for that era, but somehow managed to cash flow even as equity was eroding badly.
I really think that it was Bob's sense of humor that got me through some of the tougher times more than anything else. He and his whole family were so supportive to me I would never have believed it. A day came when his wife said they were going to have a family reunion and it was to be during planting as the date was special for some reason. Bob said I can't leave Jim during planting, I can't come. Whoa Bob this is important, go have your reunion. Nope, I'm staying to help. His wife seeing how serious he was asked me if I minded if we have the party at my place. Mind? Heck I'd be delighted! I was single at the time, the ladies came and cleaned my house, washed the windows, prepared enough food for 100 people and sure enough the Doemel family reunion was held at my house. I loved it. We even got some work done that day.
Through out the years he and I worked together, I always noticed how much family was so important to him, and that he literally included me, and later my wife and children, into that family. We were never related by blood but that didn't matter. I was a part of them and they were a part of us.
Eventually Bobs abilities to help began to show limitations and we adapted to whatever was appropriate. The adaptation phase went on for about five years and eventually he told me I was going to need to find his replacement, but he would help until I found one.
I did of course find someone else to help, but it was never the same. I hoped the bond between our families would remain, but wasn't really sure. As it turns out it did. He and another mentor farmer friend, Art, who's daughter I had dated and I'd worked my way through college helping, would come down a few times each year to check on the crops, see how things were going and go to lunch together. Art too saw me as extended family even though I was no longer dating his daughter. I got the same level of support from Art as I did with Bob. These summer get togethers with Art and Bob went on for several years, but eventually health issues took a toll and the trip down to my farm began to be more difficult. I would go up there and see them when I could saving them the drive, and it was a nice chance for them to do the show and tell time about what was new or different in their lives.
Predictably enough slowing down leads to an eventual stop. I went to Art's farm auction and he never left the house. His health had been failing and he saw no need to attend. In months following I went in to see him and spent time talking to him on the phone over the remaining few years of his life. When he was ready to go, I knew. He was trying to let his family know it was his time, but as most of us do, the hope and conversation was about getting better. I saw what he meant, and he meant to say good bye and did so. His daughter I had dated years prior was kind enough to keep me informed about his health and funeral. For that I am most grateful.
Bob's turn came several years later. He was a tough old son of a gun. He survived a large tree falling on him, a ruptured aneurism in his chest, several surgeries, a truck rolling into him, and burns over about 50% of his body at around 80 years old. None of that took away from his sense of humor. He would just shrug his shoulders even though they didn't go as high anymore, and smile.
When I went to Bob's funeral, I was a little late getting there and the family was a bit panicked about where I was. They had more than enough pall bearers, so I had no part to play in that. As I entered I was told I was to sit in the front with Grace his wife and greet family members and friends. I never saw that coming, ... delay here for a few tears... Grace made sure I knew that our family bond was forever and even though Bob was gone, the rest of the family all wanted to maintain the relationship. We have. In fact I was at her birthday party a month or two ago. It was wonderful to see her and all of the rest of the family and friends.
This has turned into a far longer tribute than I ever imagined. But I felt a need to acknowledge the help, guidance, friendship, family and fun these two guys brought to me. Without them I would not be who I am today. That I guess is the true meaning and value of a mentor. I hope I can and have been even partially as helpful to someone else. After all, It's not having it all that's really important. It's having those types of friends who are always with you whenever you need them.
Jim Curns
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Mentors, and other who made a difference in our success
