Nordern WI | born_in_ad1 - 7/3/2018 08:08
Our farmer German/Russian heritage was, that you showed no emotion, you didn't talk about anything personal, no matter how much or how bad you would be hurting inside. You were like a bottle of champagne with a tight cork on it. Eventually you were shook up so much that your cork blew off. Said things to ones who were close to you that were hurtful and harmful. Pushed them away more. If you showed emotional tearful feelings you were less of a man. You pushed the people away that were suppose to be there for you. Then you eventually thought that nobody wanted or needed you even though you pushed them away.
There wasn't many if any, "I love you's'" said. The acts of what a person did for your kids or family was suppose to be enough to mean that father/mother loved you...well, that may be true, but when somebody looks you right in your eyes and deep enough to get to your soul, and tell them that you truly LOVE THEM, makes a lot of difference in the world. As you are growing up in the kid to maybe 30ish stage, they seem to be just words, but when you get older and then you start to understand what it means and ponder back through your life. Hearing your Dad say "I Love You and I'm proud of you" would and could have made a huge difference while you were growing up.
My thoughts are kinda jumbled there and maybe didn't make sense. I think there is still truth behind them though. I hope if ANYBODY is having trouble, to seek higher powers for help.
I agree with you....I am in my mid 30's and I could probably count the number of times I've heard my father say I love you one hand and I've never heard him say he's proud.....While it is a shame I've taken the opportunity to tell my kids (one girl, one boy) that I love them everyday.....I suffer from depression, it took me a really long time to admit, it almost claimed my life in my late 20's. It wasn't until my kids were born that I realized it and I needed to deal with it.
I spent most of my life trying to garner just an ounce of love, approval, and validation from my Dad. I decided that I wasn't going to be like my Dad, I was going to show my kids the love they deserve.
I'm not blaming my Dad for my depression and I'm not blaming him for the way he raised me, in many other aspects of my life I would say he did a very good job and I hope that I can replicate those to my children.
I think depression is serious and in men it is an overlooked epidemic. If you need help get it, nobody is going to be less a man for seeking help....It's no different than an accountant, lawyer, agronomist, hired hand, mechanic, etc...Those are all people that help you with something you can't handle yourself or you need help with.
That was a lot in a little bit, but, maybe it may strike a nerve in someone and they will realize that it is "Ok" to seek help.
Wild Card
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please seek help if deeply depressed
