|
ESW ND | Our farmer German/Russian heritage was, that you showed no emotion, you didn't talk about anything personal, no matter how much or how bad you would be hurting inside. You were like a bottle of champagne with a tight cork on it. Eventually you were shook up so much that your cork blew off. Said things to ones who were close to you that were hurtful and harmful. Pushed them away more. If you showed emotional tearful feelings you were less of a man. You pushed the people away that were suppose to be there for you. Then you eventually thought that nobody wanted or needed you even though you pushed them away.
There wasn't many if any, "I love you's'" said. The acts of what a person did for your kids or family was suppose to be enough to mean that father/mother loved you...well, that may be true, but when somebody looks you right in your eyes and deep enough to get to your soul, and tell them that you truly LOVE THEM, makes a lot of difference in the world. As you are growing up in the kid to maybe 30ish stage, they seem to be just words, but when you get older and then you start to understand what it means and ponder back through your life. Hearing your Dad say "I Love You and I'm proud of you" would and could have made a huge difference while you were growing up.
My thoughts are kinda jumbled there and maybe didn't make sense. I think there is still truth behind them though. I hope if ANYBODY is having trouble, to seek higher powers for help.
| |
|
please seek help if deeply depressed
