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| Devastating behavior in my family, I'll try to make this short, I could write a whole book on it. The problems all started a year and a half ago after my mother had passed away, my mother and father's estate was set up in the two separate trusts, all the farm ground was put in my mother's trust, all other assets was put in my father's trust. Each of my mother's properties had a name assigned to each heir ( 2 brothers and 1 deceased brother daughter). All BUT 1 piece of property had names assigned to them. Now here is where the problem starts. First off, dad tells me he going to put that in my nephews name. ( probably worth $75K ) I asked him what he was going to do for the 2 other grandkids. His response was nothing, I warned him that could cause hard feelings, his response was he didn't care that's the way it's going to be. Now after worrying about it all day and the family troubles that would come out of it, less than 12 hours later he changed his mind and wanted to put it in my nieces name (she is my deceased brother heir.) He said Because she was short in the property she had received. I told him I thought that would be good. I was so relieved that he had a change of heart, he wanted her to have it. I thought that was the most logical choice, no grandkids were mentioned in the trust except my niece and that was because she was an heir of my deceased brother.
I was somewhat ignorant on how a trust actually works at the time. The lawyer told dad he could not do that. This actually was not my father's decision to make. it was the trustees. My brother and I are the co-trustees. Nothing actually had to be done with the property until after my father passed away.
Now after six months passed, my father informed me one evening that we have a meeting with the lawyer in a couple days about selling that piece of property to my nephew. I had no knowledge that anything was being done to that property. I wasn't informed on anything until they needed my signature. I became very angry because of the scheme my father and brother had cooked up for his son to be the beneficiary of a piece of property cheaply. There was a clause in the trust saying that if my father needed money, the trustees could sell property to meet his needs such as nursing home health care and so on. Several things right off the bat that made this wrong, I told my father you don't need the money he says that does not matter, second thing he said he wanted to sell a property for what he paid which he said was $34000 which was about 30% less than what public records showed he paid ($43000) Thirdly he wouldn't take the lawyers advice and have it appraised like the lawyer told him he should do. Fourthly he wanted to sell it to him on a contract which I believe actually meant he wouldn't be paying for it, the nephew's lived there for six years and never paid any rent. My father said he was, but that was a lie and not the first lie I caught him in. He keeps on telling lies to try to cover up the lie he told before. Dad is 87, he's not as good at covering up lies as he used to be.
My mother said many times when she was mad at him. that he was sneaky, selfish, conniving, vindictive and deceitful. She told me never treat your wife like that. I don't like saying those things but I understand my mother's anger now.
I showed up at the lawyers meeting and I did act like a a$$.
The more that was revealed the angrier I got. They said I was greedy when all I asked for was it to be fair like my mother would have wanted. I told them I would not sign under these false pretenses. I later offered ,(in order to save family relationships) to give my portion, 1/3 to my brother and even made arrangements for the lawyer to get papers wrote up. I texted my brother to tell him that I had set wheels in motion. He could not reply with an OK, Thank you, or what ever, just silence. After 2 weeks I called the lawyer and told him to forget it. I was willing to give my portion up to keep family peace. but I could see they actually they didn't care about family and really pi$$ed me off.
Now my father says he going to take my part of his trust (1/3 , worth maybe $300K to 400K) away if I don't sign the property over to my nephew. Keep in mind the my brother and his son never farmed and didn't help out either. I farmed with my father up past his retirement age. For 25 years and helped him build his fortune. My son wanted to farm and it was time for me to go on my own. Dad was very not very supportive at the time. That was 17 years ago and I have done very well, and I give God all the praise for his blessing upon me.
Now dad and my brother, refuse to talk to me, they just giving me the silent treatment. I have tried, but they reuse to talk this out , all I can think is that they're afraid of the questions I might ask. Having a brother that's trying to put the screws to you is one thing but a father is unbelievable. Dad is treating my 2 kids and his only 6 great grandkids like crap. The oldest grandchild has a very strong desire to farm. He's 14 and want to follow my foot steps in farming and I'm pretty proud of that.
This is the most stress I think I have ever had, I have been battling cancer for a while now and just had to start treatment again. and I really don't need all this stress now. I'm having an awful hard time , trying to get past this point in my life. I have gave up on any family relationships now, it to late in life to ever get repaired. I father has destroyed the family and any good memories. I wish there some magic pill for problems like this.
Sorry for such a long post! | |
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Being disinherited!
